Once upon a time there was this little girl..let's call her Natascia..she used to live in Italy. after finishing college, boyfriend relationships and her gracious connection to her mom, she packed her little "hello kitty" (Natascia calls it "Hello Shitty", cause it describes better the content ih ih...NAt's intrusion) suitcase and marched right out of the door into the sunset. Her boots clicking over the ground as she went straight towards the gate of the airport, waving a little goodbye to her friends and off she went. The plane took her right to the sun-lighted paradise of a land called California. she was hoping to find what she was always looking for...even though she didn't quite know what IT was! Arriving at a small cottage that she will call her home for the following year, she unpacked and felt confused. Is that really what she wants? Is this what she was looking for? well, she wanted to wait and see. Next day she was welcomed by her four beloved kids who insantly greeted her with a high-pitched "che cazzo!". SHE FELT AT HOME! This is where she wanted to stay, this will be her future life. she lived from day to day, grateful as ever could be, looking forward to everysingle morning to see her kids again. but still there was something tha pinched her heart from time to time a little bit. it was the need of a friend. so she went out in hope to find somebody understanding and loving. somebody who would listen to all her joy and pain, all her wild and boring experiences, AND.....finally she found that somebody! when she met her, she immediately (and literally) looked up to her. She was the most gorgeous woman she'd ever met. Even the friends in her home country couldn't resist her. Over the time they became close friends hanging out almost 24/7. they would tell each other about their non-existent love life, how they have difficulties to see their vagina as a part of their body and not as a scare-away object for several men. So after lots and lots of heartful conversations about men's incapacity of forming a relationship with the female gender, they stopped looking out for them and finally ended up where their little men-excursion started: the cottage. Drowning themselves in Backstreet Boys "quit playin' games with my heart" and N'Sync's "tearing up my heart", doing the "conga" by Gloria Estefan while munching thousands and thousands of m&m's, they came to the point of no return. they faced the horrible truth. there was no way around it. they had to go through hell...or even worse: the GYM!!! This story won't have a happy ending. the worst thing still is about to come up: not only thatboth girls needed to face the fact of attending work-out sessions at the gym, but they alsoknew that soon enough there will be a time of saying "farewell" to each other. The land of cowboys and cattles had called the italian Bellina. Again she put on her boots and packed her little "hello kitty" suitcase and she went a secodn time to finally find her cowboyan soulmate in the poo of 5 big cattles. Sorrounded by flies , heat and bush'es she was dreaming back....dreamin back to the time she had in paradise.
Katherine
NATASCIA'S ANSWER TO KATHERINE'S LETTER:
Once upon a time there was a little....sorry, big girl, called Katherine, she was in fact only 6 feet tall. One day she decided to leave Hitler-Land-the Kingdom of chocolate- for the "far way better" Terminator-Land, the sunny California. She packed her Hello Shitty suitcase and off she went. As soon as she got there she found many girlfriends: Denisse Dion, Andrea Bocelli, Paulina Lopez, Dianne Spears-Federline, Maria Martin (un dos tres un pasito bailante Maria...), Cristine Jolie-Pitt, Bruna Ciccone and of course Natascia Carey..................oops, I forgot Hector Inglesias.....Katherine-in-der-Waschinmachine, as her kids used to call her, came to Bush-Land for many reasons. Reason number 1: she wanted to improve her english; # 2: she wanted to find the black guy of her dreams...........they say that once you go black, you never come back....Right, Katherine? # 3 she wanted to hang out with a black guy; # 4 she wanted to marry a back guy; # 5 she wanted to be engaged with a black guy. Results: 1) Her english got worse cause she spent too much time with the Italian 5 feet tall girl Natascia, learning very important words such as "pipistrello", "che cazzo", "che palle", "li mortacci", "vaffanculo", "vacci tu" and it got contaminated even from the mexicans with words like "pendejo", "vamos al carro" etc. 2) she not only found a black guy, she didn't find a guy at all (but a little accident called Travis, a wanna be cop, and a "I already am an asshole"...........So we decide to dedicate our lives to the M&Ms. So now, after her kind hostfamily kicked her out, she is packing her Hello Shitty suitcase again heading to the airport to go back to Arbeit-Macht-Frei-Land (that, by the way, has no chances in the World Cup). The questions is: will they find drug at the check in that innocent suitcase belonging to the 6 feet no sex, no meat (???????), no alcohol, no drugs and a little bit of Rock n' Roll, sorry R'n'B, big girl? Well, you never know :) Thanks to: all the AUPAIRS, Kat's hostfamily for kicking her out before we actually did it, the M&Ms factory, the CHEESECAKE FACTORY, the SECURITY STAFF at the BLUE CHALK, the BBC, the CNN, SAFEWAY, TRADER JOE'S, the LEXUS, the HOT TUB, the KARAOKE, the BOULANGER and the italian frittata, HAPPY DONOUTS, SOUTHPARK, THE PUSSYCAT DOLLS, USHER, SEAN PAUL, MADONNA, KELLY CLARKSON, SHAKIRA AND 50 CENTS but "JUST A LITTLE BIT".
